In ancient biblical times and during the life of Jesus Christ, in order for a young man to become married to the girl of his dreams they would engage in a betrothal process. The process of choosing a bride began at the father's house. When the time had come for the son to marry, a bride would be chosen. This could be a bride chosen by the father for his son as Abraham did for Isaac...
Genesis 24:2 And Abraham said unto his eldest servant of his house, that ruled over all that he had; Put forth I pray thee thy hand under my hand, and I will make thee swear before the Lord, the God of heaven, and the God of the earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son, of the daughters of the Canaanites among whom I dwell; but thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred and take a wife unto my son Isaac.
Or the son could choose a bride for himself and ask his father to get her for him...
Judges 14:1 And Samson went down to Timnath, and saw a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines.
2 And he came up, and told his father and his mother, and said, I have seen a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines; now therefore get her for me to wife.
3 Then his father and his mother said unto him, Is there never a woman among the daughters of thy brethren, or among all my people, that thou goest to take a wife of the uncircumcised Philistines? And Samson said unto his father, Get her for me; for she pleaseth me well.
The method and reasons for choosing a particular woman for a bride are many and varied in the Bible. By whatever means it was done, a potential bride would be chosen and the betrothal process would begin.
Before going to the family of the intended bride, an offer of a bride price would have to be determined. This was a sum which would be given to the family of the bride to prove the earnestness and financial security of the groom and would show his future ability to provide for her. The bride price was earned by the blood, sweat and tears of the groom and given as an earnest in love for the bride he desired to wed. The price he was willing to pay was an expression of the love he had for her. A modern equivalent would be buying a wedding ring for the bride, except in that case the money goes to the jeweler instead of the family. In this case the money went to the family. The father of the bride could then add the bride price to her dowry.
In the way of proving his ability to provide what he promised Jesus showed this by several means:
John 2:1 And on the third day of the week, there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee; and the mother of Jesus was there.
2 And Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage.
3 And when they wanted wine, his mother said unto him, They have no wine.
4 Jesus said unto her, Woman, what wilt thou have me to do for thee? that will I do; for mine hour is not yet come.
5 His mother said unto the servants, Whatsoever he saith unto you, see that ye do it.
6 There were set there six waterpots of stone, after the manner of the purifying of the Jews, containing two or three firkins apiece.
7 Jesus said unto them, Fill the waterpots with water. And they filled them up to the brim.
8 And he said, Draw out now, and bear unto the governor of the feast. And they bare unto him.
9 When the governor of the feast had tasted the water which was made wine, (he knew not whence it was, but the servants who drew the water knew,) the governor of the feast called the bridegroom,
10 And said unto him, Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk; then that which is worse; but thou hast kept the good wine until now.
11 This beginning of miracles did Jesus in Cana of Galilee, and manifested forth his glory; and the faith of his disciples was strengthened in him.
Matthew 14:14 And when it was evening, his disciples came to him, saying, This is a desert place, and the time is now past; send the multitude away, that they may go into the villages and buy themselves victuals.
15 But Jesus said unto them, They need not depart; give ye them to eat.
16 And they said unto him, We have here but five loaves and two fishes. Hesaid, Bring them hither to me.
17 And he commanded the multitude to sit down on the grass; and he took the five loaves and the two fishes, and looking up to heaven he blessed and brake and gave the loaves to the disciples, and the disciples, to the multitude.
18 And they did all eat, and were filled. And they took up of the fragments that remained, twelve basketsful. And they that had eaten were about five thousand men, besides women and children.
[Also found at Mark 6:36-44; Luke 9:12-14; John 6:5-12]
Matthew 4:22 And Jesus went about all Galilee teaching in their synagogues, and preaching the gospel of the kingdom; and healing all manner of sickness, and all manner of diseases among the people which believed on his name.
23 And his fame went throughout all Syria; and they brought unto him all sick people that were taken with divers diseases, and torments, and those who were possessed with devils, and those who were lunatic, and those that had the palsy; and he healed them.
Luke 7:12 Now, when he came nigh to the gate of the city, behold, there was a dead man carried out, the only son of his mother, and she was a widow; and many people of the city were with her.
13 And now the Lord saw her, and had compassion on her, and he said unto her, Weep not.
14 And he came and touched the bier; and they who bare it stood still, and he said, Young man, I say unto thee, Arise.
15 And he who was dead, sat up, and began to speak; and he delivered him to his mother.
The accounts of his cruxifiction and resurrection can be found in Matthew 27, 28; Mark 15, 16; Luke 23, 24 and John 19, 20.
Jesus, praying in the mount of Olives endured the following
Luke 22:44 And being in an agony, he prayed more earnestly; and he sweat as at were great drops of blood falling down to the ground.
After having died on the cross it is related that
John 19:34 But one of the soldiers with a spear pierced his side, and forthwith came there out blood and water.
Jesus paid the price of his life that he could go before the father to be our intercessor
1st Corinthians 6:19 What! know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
20 For ye are bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
Isaiah 53:1 Who hath believed our report? and to whom is the arm of the Lord revealed?
2 For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground; he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him.
3 He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
4 Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows; yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.
6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.
1st John 2:1 My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. But if any man sin and repent, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous;
2 And he is the propitiation for our sins; and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.
Having determined the offer the groom would make for the bride, the grooms father would arrange to have dinner at the home of the intended with the announced intention of beginning the marriage process. The father and the groom would go to the door of the intended bride and knock on the door.
Jesus, in his revelation to John, speaking to the church of the Laodiceans, says:
Revelation 3:20 Behold, I stand at the door, and knock; if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.
If the girl opened the door, it meant she was willing to engage in the betrothal process. She did not have to open the door. She had to take action to consent to beginning the process. If she passively refused to open the door, it was understood she was not willing and her potential suitor was turned away
The two families would sit together at a meal. Sometime during this meal the father would pour a cup of wine and pass it to his son, the son would take the cup, turn to the young lady, take a sip of wine from a cup, hold it out to her and with the solemnity of an oath before God, would say to the intended bride, “This cup is a new covenant in my blood, which I offer to you.”
Jesus, speaking to his disciples at his last supper did the following:
Luke 22:19 And he took bread, and gave thanks, and brake, and gave unto them, saying, This is my body which is given for you; this do in remembrance of me.
20 Likewise also the cup, after supper, saying, This cup is the New Testament in my blood which is shed for you.
If she accepted the cup and sipped from it, it meant she was willing to accept his proposal and become his bride. By accepting the cup, she also accepted the following:
Similarly the apostle Paul, speaking about being among unbelievers and idol worshipers says:
2nd Corinthians 6:17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye the separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,
18 And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.
It was understood that from that point the two families would be combined. Each member of the separate families would be committed to serving the needs of the new combined family.
The two families would later sit down to another meal together to work out the details of the marriage. The result of this discussion was a marriage contract or Ketubah which enumerated:
The genealogy of Joseph, the father of Jesus’ adoptive father, can be found at
Matthew 1:1 The book of the generation of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham.
2 Abraham begat Isaac; and Isaac begat Jacob; ...and so on.
The genealogy of Mary, the mother of Jesus can be found at
Luke 3:30 And Jesus himself began to be about thirty years of age, having lived with his father, being, as was supposed of the world, the son of Joseph, who was from the loins of Heli,
31 Who was from the loins of Matthat, who was the son of Levi, ...and so on.
The story of how God came to choose the family which he would choose to bless the earth through can be found in Genesis and Exodus.
Genesis 12:1 Now, the Lord had said unto Abram, Get thee out of thy country, and from thy kindred, and from thy father's house, unto a land that I will show thee;
2 And I will make of thee a great nation, and I will bless thee, and make thy name great; and thou shalt be a blessing; and I will bless them that bless thee, and curse them that curse thee; and in thee shall the families of the earth be blessed.
Deuteronomy 24:5 When a man hath taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war, neither shall he be charged with any business; but he shall be free at home one year, and shall cheer up his wife which he hath taken.
1st John 3:1 Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God; therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not.
2 Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be; but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is.
3 And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure.
1st Tinothy 6:13 I give thee charge in the sight of God, who quickeneth all things, and before Christ Jesus, who before Pontius Pilate witnessed a good confession;
14 That thou keep this commandment without spot, unrebukable, until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ;
15 Which in his times he shall show, who is the blessed and only Potentate, the King of kings, and Lord of lords, to whom be honor and power everlasting;
16 Whom no man hath seen, nor can see, unto whom no man can approach, only he who hath the light and the hope of immortality dwelling in him.
17 Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not high- minded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy;
18 That they do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to distribute, willing to communicate;
19 Laying up in store for themselves a good foundation against the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life.
Matthew 6:19 Lay not up for yourselves treasure upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal.
20 But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal.
21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
Read the rest of Proverbs 31 to find the qualities of a good woman
Upon completing these negotiations, the bride and groom would drink a second cup of wine together, symbolizing they had completed the verbal negotiations. The agreed terms of these negotiations were then written into a document enumerating the agreement. The document was then signed by two witnesses and was then binding upon both groom and bride. The bride and groom then shared a third cup of wine together signifying sealing of the betrothal until the wedding day. The marriage contract, or Ketubah, became the property of the bride, for it insured her rights under the covenant.
Exodus 31:18 And he gave unto Moses, when he had made an end of communing with him upon mount Sinai, two tables of testimony, tables of stone, written with the finger of God.
The engagement was considered to be a marriage in all senses save for having been consummated. It could only be undone in two ways, either by the death of one of them, in which case the survivor was considered a widow or widower and would receive an inheritance from the other family, or finding the bride had not kept herself pure, in which case the groom had the option of giving her a writing of divorce.
Such was the case of Joseph in his betrothal to Mary
Matthew 2:1 Now, as it is written, the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise. After his mother, Mary, was espoused to Joseph, before they came together she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.
2 Then Joseph, her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily.
It was common for the groom to promise the bride that he would not drink wine until they shared the fourth cup of wine on the wedding day.
Luke 22:14 And when the hour was come, he sat down, and the twelve apostles with him.
15 And he said unto them, With desire I have desired to eat this passover with you before I suffer;
16 For I say unto you, I will not any more eat thereof, until it be fulfilled which is written in the prophets concerning me. Then I will partake with you, in the kingdom of God.
17 And he took the cup, and gave thanks, and said, Take this and divide among yourselves;
18 For I say unto you, that I will not drink of the fruit of the vine, until the kingdom of God shall come.
19 And he took bread, and gave thanks, and brake, and gave unto them, saying, This is my body which is given for you; this do in remembrance of me.
20 Likewise also the cup, after supper, saying, This cup is the New Testament in my blood which is shed for you.
While hanging on the cross, it is related that
Matthew 27:35/Mark 15:23 And they gave him to drink, vinegar mingled with gall; and when he had tasted the vinegar, he would not drink.
The Inspired Version uses the translated word vinegar, but in this case the greek word translated vinegar is
3631
οινος
oy'-nos
a primary word (or perhaps of Hebrew origin (yayin 3196)); "wine" (literally or figuratively):--wine.
So when Jesus was on the cross being offered wine mixed with gall, which would deaden the pain, he refused, resisting the temptation to break the oath he had given to not drink wine, even when it would deaden the pain of his anguish.
The grooms last words to the bride before he left would be “I am going to my father’s house to prepare a place for you.”
John 14:1 Let not your heart be troubled; ye believe in God, believe also in me.
2 In my Father's house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.
3 And when I go, I will prepare a place for you, and come again and receive you unto myself; that where I am, ye may be also.
4 And whither I go ye know; and the way ye know.
After these last words, the couple would not see each other until the day of the wedding. The groom went to prepare a place for the wedding, a place for them to live and provisions to live for their first year together. These provisions were not ready until the father decided they were acceptable. Therefore, when people would ask the groom when the wedding was going to be he would reply, “only my father knows”
Mark 13:45 Now learn a parable of the fig tree. When his branches are yet tender, and putteth forth leaves, ye know that summer is nigh at hand.
46 So likewise, mine elect, when they shall see all these things, they shall know that he is near, even at the doors.
47 But of that day and hour no one knoweth; no, not the angels of God in heaven, but my Father only.
[Also found in Mat24:41-43]
The betrothal process is a shadow, an acting out of the interaction between God and the people he works to have enter back into his presence. The bethrothal process of:
are all reflected in the bible and in the words and actions Jesus took during his lifetime, sometimes action for action and word for word. The last supper and his cruxifiction reflect the final steps of the bethrothal process. When he returns will come the wedding.
The Old and New Testaments contain the Ketubah, the covenant of behavior and responsibilities that are to be adhered to by God and his people by showing the:
The communion table laid before you is a testimony of the life offered to you. It is a rememberance, commanded by Jesus, primarily of the agony he endured on the cross, but also of the lifetime of his suffering, of being despised and rejected by his community (Psalm 31:10, 11), of not having a home (Matthew 8:19, 20), of answering everyone else’s need whenever he was called upon and the responsibility of spreading the gospel message that the kingdom of God had come to the earth.
He commanded we communion at this table that we might understand that he knows every point of temptation we attempt to resist. The difference being, he resisted all temptation, suffered the cruel cup of the wrath of God and, being the first resurrected and returning to God’s presence, is the only one worthy before God to be an advocate for us, a substitution who is able to remit our sin and bring us back into the presence of God. This remission of our sin is conditioned on if we will accept Jesus as our King, confess our sins, repent of our actions and keep his commandments.
The communion table is also a sign of the betrothal he has offered to give us an inheritance in his coming kingdom. The bread and wine served here are a mere appetizer of the marriage supper he is preparing for all who will endure to the end and overcome. These are they are who he will raise to life in the first resurrection, gather them to himself to dress them in his righteousness and seat them at the marriage supper of the Lamb. Jesus is preparing to marry his people, to give an inheritance to all those whom will keep his commandments and glory and honor if they will do righteous works.
But that is another message...
Hebrews 12:1 Wherefore, seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,
2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Published May 17, 2020